While at Berkeley my atheism context was further molded. No longer surrounded by Catholics, I met a lot of interesting people there with a wide variety of belief systems. I quickly made a lot of new friends who were very intelligent, and some were open to discussing the nature of reality. I think my Catholic upbringing was like a coiled spring — as soon as I left behind the environment that kept the spring coiled, I immediately shot to the other end of the spectrum. But I went way too far with it. I not only shed my old religious beliefs, but along with it went my whole concept of morality.
This paragraph is one of the reasons I respect this blogger. He is able to admit, as many aren't (and I know from other posts what he believes now), that he shot to the other end of the spectrum.' In his case, he cites morality, and in other cases I see, it's a devotion to naturalism that goes from healthy and scientific to ideological and scientistic.
As he admits in the paragraph above, his entire concept of morality vanished. It didn't have to, but in his case, it did. And he goes on to describe in detail his newfound addiction to shoplifting, drinking, drugs, and his time in jail that changes his outlook on life. Upon leaving jail, he is a blank slate, for the most part.
I knew I had a lot of personal rebuilding to do, but I also knew that I couldn’t go backwards. The morals and beliefs by which I was raised were broken, but living without a sense of conscience clearly wasn’t an option. Was a belief in God required to live by a code of ethics? I became aware that despite how negative my experiences seemed, they forever changed me in a good way too. By going through those experiences, I had unlocked access to a part of myself that was previously dormant — my courage.
He goes on to talk about his years in college, and how, with his new outlook on life, his hunger, he gets amazing grades in college, all the while taking an obscene number (31) of credits a semester.
This experience gave me a deeper appreciation of the power of context. I would not have even attempted such a thing as a Catholic. I would never have set the goals I did. I’m not sure anyone can truly understand how different reality seems from the perspective of different contexts if you’ve never switched contexts. If you subscribe to a disempowering context, you may be absolutely crippled in your ability to effectively tackle certain challenges no matter how hard you try (if you even try at all).
A great point made here is that it's difficult to understand different contexts if one hasn't switched contexts at all. It aligns with something I feel, and that is, some of the most insightful material is from people who have been in a naturalistic worldview, only to switch to a theistic worldview (C.S. Lewis, Antony Flew, Edward Feser, Jime's blog, etc). I'm sure it works the other way too, and in fact, if many atheists are from religious households, than I imagine it would.
Over the next decade I experimented with agnosticism, various new-agey belief systems, Buddhism, objectivism, and more. I even tried Scientology for a few months just to see what it was like. I wanted to assimilate a variety of different contexts, experience them from the inside, and then back off and compare their strengths and weaknesses. This produced a lot of instability in my life but also tremendous growth.
The last sentence is key. By allowing oneself to doubt, to question, it enables the growth that can be very fulfilling. It ties back into experiencing different contexts. While I would say that I, more-or-less, lived like an atheist for a while, reading atheist material, atheist opinions and stories, I feel I have experienced that worldview as well to a certain extent.
Our beliefs act as lenses. These lenses can help us see things we can’t otherwise see, but they can also block us from seeing parts of reality. I see a huge part of personal development as the study of these lenses — these belief systems. There are an infinite number of lenses, so the quest never ends, but the more lenses you examine personally, the more you understand about the nature of reality and your role within it.
Fantastic.
However, here is where it gets a bit sloppy, and where I have to disagree with conclusion.
As a result of this introspection, I was able to shed certain beliefs and strengthen others. Some beliefs I found consistently disempowering, meaning that if I adopted them, I would be denying myself access to valuable potential. These included the belief in heaven/hell and the belief in a higher power. That second one may seem surprising, but I opted to let it go because I consistently found it less empowering than a belief in a lower power. An example of a higher power would be a consciously aware God or gods such as found in Christianity or Greek mythology.
My overall religion has effectively become a religion of personal growth. Every year I continue to tweak my beliefs to try to bring them into closer alignment with my best understanding of how reality actually works. The better we understand reality, the more potential we unlock. Just as understanding a new law of physics can allow us to do things we could never previously do, beliefs about reality work the same way. If you’re stuck with a belief in a flat earth, it’s going to limit your potential actions and results. Similarly, if your religious beliefs are too great a mismatch for actual reality, you’ll be doomed to spend your life only tapping a fraction of your true potential. In my “religion,” knowingly leaving my potential untapped is sinful. Personal optimization is deeply embedded into my sense of morality. Not growing is morally wrong to me — it runs contrary to my understanding of the purpose of life.
In the first paragraph, the author talks about how he would choose his beliefs on whether or not he found them empowering in his life, which he also sums up in the first sentance of paragraph two. Choosing one's beliefs for pragmatic reasons is certainly no new concept, but it is one that I can't agree should be a driving force. One is free to choose their beliefs based on what they believe constitutes personal growth, but there is an obvious disconnect between pragmatic beliefs and truth. He mentions how he tweaks his beliefs to how he best understands reality to work, but the two will only work if the truth, in fact, leads to personal growth. If it does, than his search is actually for the truth, not beliefs that lead to empowerment. If this connection is made, I will be on board, because I (at least try) to orient my quest around what best explains reality, and what I believe to be true, and if the truth doesn't lead to 'empowerment,' then so be it. But if one orients their quest around empowering beliefs, I see no reason why true beliefs would not be discarded for false ones. If you find belief in heaven and hell disempowering, and chose not to accept them, so be it, but this has no bearing on whether or not they exist or not.
This is more complicated when one considers the subjective nature of 'personal growth.' My idea of personal growth is determined by my worldview, not the other way around. But this does not seem to be the way he navigates his life, and I find that to be backwards. He seems to be saying he accepts beliefs based on whether he sees growth, but what constitutes growth unless it is rooted in his/her worldview? My idea of growth is very spiritual, because I believe spirituality to be an incredibly real, and tangible thing. But if you deny this, then personal growth could be wealth, or fame, or relationships. I find the way he arrives at his conclusion to be muddy at best, backwards at worst.
Actions, not words, reveal beliefs. If you want to understand what you truly believe, observe your actions. This may take some courage to do, but if you follow the trail of your actions, it will lead you to a more congruent belief system. And once there you can begin consciously moving towards new beliefs that empower you, while your actions and beliefs remain congruent along the way.
Good point, one where Christians should perhaps take the hit. If one accepts God with his words but denies him with every breath he takes, what does that make him? To me, it brings up images of the pharisees. I've always had problems with believing that 'faith' not 'works' leads to salvation. But what is faith without the action that shows faith is genuine?
It might seem questionable why I like this blog, at all, since he seems to have very different beliefs than I do. Furthermore, I haven't talked at all about the distinction between spirituality and religion. Well, I'll just say he has a section on 'Spirituality' which has over 100 posts, most of them since the entry I have recapped in this post, as well as in part one. He seems to have found truth, or empowerment, in spirituality, and he talks in many entries about his certainty in life after death, and his mediumship experiences. I have done little as way of research in mediumship, but I fully believe it's possible, especially with the case for the afterlife as strong as it is. This shift leads me to believe that an honest truth seeker (and apparently one interested in empowerment, as a driving factor) can land on spirituality as truth. He also epitomizes many of my feelings about seeking the truth, even if I find his methodology questionable. He has another post on ten reasons why not to join a religion, so while he seems to still be strongly against organized religion, I think it's obvious why, given his mindset, he feels so against it (also, from reading this entry, it's mostly weak rationale, falsehoods, and unsophisticated theology - I'll comment on this entry in another post).
I think this story shows a lot of key points. It shows how many atheists are formed, and the rationale behind the decision. It shows what truth-seeking can lead to (doubt), and how it can eventually lead to growth. While I value growth, as he does, it takes a backseat to truth, mainly because growth is dependent upon what I perceive the truth to be. If I don't have those standards in place, I can never assess my growth in the first place. But overall, I admire his journey, and I enjoy many of his statements about beliefs, which I couldn't have said better myself.